Competitive sports teach us invaluable life lessons, among them the dedication, commitment, and sacrifices involved with performing at a high level. While these character traits embody the athlete and can serve lifelong purposes, they can also contribute to crafting an identity that is purely wrapped up in our sport, with disregard for everything else that we are becoming.
When being an athlete in our sport becomes the main or only part of our identity in focus, we put ourselves and our mental health at risk. Suddenly all of the uncontrollable parts of life and sports: injury, physical health, and other people’s performances have the potential to send us into the anxious unknown.
While grieving the losses that come with injury, we suddenly begin to grieve the loss of ourselves. Who are we on a break from our sport? What is our purpose? Many athletes experience anxious and depressive symptoms through the injury and recovery cycles because the inability to perform or the stress to “get back” to one’s skill level are the only thoughts they can focus on. Some athletes use their sport as their main stress reliever, but it is helpful to have alternate techniques and escapes that are there if your sport cannot be.
Performances of others start to equate into our own worth, and we risk losing the ability to track our own forward progress because we are wrapped up in a mindset of everything we are not. Comparison is a thief, and each athlete experiences different seasons of growth or stagnancy within their performances. We place ourselves at risk of not being able to celebrate the way that other people’s achievements elevate the sport, and rather internalize these things as a reflection of ourselves.
Suddenly our time, mark, or stats from our sport become intertwined with our success or failure as a person, placing pressure on performance to either reveal the best of us, or highlight the worst of us for everyone else to see. When the game, match, or race starts, there is so much more on the line that your best self on that day.
Athlete identity concerns are often directly linked to other challenges that plague athletes, such as performance anxiety and mental barriers. When we are linking our entire worth to our performances, we create an insurmountable amount of pressure. Instead of running towards success and growth in our sport, many athletes find themselves running away from failure. Not only is this difficult to manage, it also drains the joy and excitement from our sport. Your sport should challenge you, shape you, change you….but it should also remain something that you love and look forward to doing. That is something that I think we have to protect as we progress through sports, as this is often the reason we began athletics in the first place.
While being an athlete, especially at a high level, will remain a large portion of our identity, we must also give attention to other parts of ourselves and other important roles we play in our world. Most athletes are also daughters, sons, friends, teammates, brothers, sisters, girlfriends, boyfriends, students, musicians, artists, readers, writers, and so many more. These parts of ourselves are all connected to one another through us, our traits, and our willingness to balance them all the best that we can. A misconception of integrating these roles is that it will somehow lessen the athlete role, but being the whole person is the foundation of deep rooted self worth, something that excels our performance.
Competitive sports are an incredible gift with an expiration date. While some sports allow for continuation across the lifespan, most sports have a time frame for high level competition. As we continue to age, we understand that there comes a time when we must hang up our athlete hat and put away that sector of ourselves. This is so hard. While we might find ourselves out training for a half marathon, or playing in leagues for our sport, the place it fills in our lives will change somehow. I know if you are reading this right now in the height of your competitive sport, you won’t be able to fathom it. I know if you’re reading this right now as a retired competitive athlete, you’ll resonate so deeply.
Former athletes tend to become people who excel in their careers and relationships, and this is no coincidence. The dedication to your sport and the focus on teammates and other people often craft a person who knows how to communicate, work hard, be selfless, and achieve great things.
When this transition happens, we are left with memories, moments, and everything the sport molded us into. The lessons, the setbacks, the victories, the teammates, the comradery, the failures and everything else in-between that crafted a person who is ready to face these challenges outside of athletics and into the rest of their lives. The tangible outcomes become lesser and lesser over time, but the traits we gained from being an athlete are a thread that follows us everywhere and into every new adventure.
So who are you if you are an athlete? You’re a whole person who can excel at your sport and so much more.
Who are you if you are not a competitive athlete anymore? You are still everything.
